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CRITIQUE ME PLEASE - 1 by =akeli:iconakeli:

Categories Scraps

©2009 =akeli
:iconakeli:

Artist's Comments

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If you do not read and abide by the rules, your comments will be DELETED!

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This deviation is for the express purpose of critiquing all my previous comic work - which includes the Guardians cover, Guardians pages, all of Aetherius and the Guardian's prologue.

Critiques are not to be used as an excuse to bash, flame, or say in general "I just don't like this." A Critique is a helpful suggestion that will allow me to improve my future submissions. Please keep things light and cheery, serious comments are fine - overly bashing comments will be deleted.

I also don't want a bunch of comments telling me things I already know, so I will list things I don't want here -

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I plan on revamping the cover, I dislike the eyes and the connecting part of the muzzle/cheekbones - I also have to cut the size slightly. The logo will get a complete overhaul - suggestions about it are welcome.

Please don't tell me it looks like Narnia - it looks a lot less like narnia than The Lion King looked like Kimba the White Lion (and my script has nothing to do with narnia either). I'm going to change the logo though because I really don't want to have a problem with those types of comments.

Please do not critique the story/dialogue in the Aetherius comic - I did not write it.

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I would like suggestions on my comic work, even though I am vastly upping the quality, angles of panels, thought bubbles, ect for my own comic.

Suggestions are welcome as well as critiques - if you have a thought about something, or there is something you'd like to see in the comic, feel free to add. Don't be disappointed if I don't use your suggestion though, as the comic has already been written (and re-written) and Shai and I are /very/ satisfied with the script.

You don't have to use the critique feature.

After awhile this image will be deleted.


EDIT: Please critique -here- on this deviation, not on my others. Thanks! (and thank you sindos for the question)

Why don't I just let you critique each individual picture?

Because, for one, right after I finish something I'm pretty sick of it - I'm not likely to go back and fix anything, nor am I likely to be as aware of problems with it. It is better if I can go back and look at the mistakes I have made later when I can distance myself from the work, and also when I have time to implement changes in further work.
Comment here, because then I will have access to all the critiques and suggestions in one place instead of scattered through-out my gallery.


Don't be discouraged by the rules - Other than those, feel free - I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and suggestions! :D

All art copyright to :iconakeli: and :iconthrones:

Critiques


:iconvictoriast:
*VictoriaST Apr 24, 2009, 11:32:08 AM
Looking through all of your work I agree that your knowledge and technique on how the big cats are drawn, they are very accurate and look realistic but yet have your own style.

Though the only thing that I did notice even though it was stated above, was that you do not show large amount of shadow effects which is great if that is what your are going for. In doing this sometimes your work can look very two dimensional, when it could look much stronger, almost like the picture is popping out at you. This sometimes I have found distracting.

There is only one other thing I wish to comment on and this is pertaining to your comics. I have found not only in your work (my work too!!!) is that our stories tend to be well thought out, but many of them don't have an opening that makes enough since. What I mean by that is that some times your opening pages don't have enough context to key your readers in on. This is usually okay when writing a novel, but when doing a comic I have noticed people loose interest much faster when the first 3 or 4 pages don't make tons of since.

Anyway I enjoy all of your work, and think all of it looks amazing, just keep it up, and there is my two cents, I hope it is helpful!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
9 out of 9 deviants thought this was fair.
4 Replies

:icondragonite1:
*Dragonite1 Apr 23, 2009, 10:53:03 PM
I have been scrolling through your various big cat pieces and I must say that you have an excellent knowledge of big cat anatomy and fur direction, even up to minute details on the paws (which I do envy you for). Even your simpler sketches follow the anatomy almost perfectly and you do go for some very original tricky poses which highlights your knowledge. Your shading can appear to be minimal on some of your cartoon pictures (i.e. when you are not drawing realism); however perhaps the pastel look is what you are aiming for and to be honest it does fit quite well. Within the cartoon area, your technique seems to vary widely between simple colouring, to quite detailed fur suggestions which bring out more of the play of light and dark and the background they are operating in, and so narrowing down which is your preferred style can be tricky. Overall, you're a fantastic big cat artist.

Vision - 5 star - you have tha ability to see cat anatomy in any pose you do

Originality - 4 star - perhaps it would be nice to see you draw species and backgrounds outside of your comfort zone

Technique - 4 star - some colouring is fantastic, other is simpler

Impact - 4.5 star - overall you knowledge of the cat order is superb. The poses and emotions you put across are well received
The Artist thought this was FAIR
16 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.
7 Replies

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:iconsindos:
*sindos Apr 23, 2009, 9:21:25 PM
Question, want us to critique here or on each deviation? I will gladly help you if I can :)

--
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die ··· Frank Herbert
:iconakeli:
=akeli Apr 23, 2009, 9:24:35 PM
Critique here! Thanks :D

--
-----------------------------------
As a man is, so he sees.
As the eye is formed,
such are its powers
- William Blake
:iconhalcyonhavoc:
=HalcyonHavoc Apr 23, 2009, 10:44:35 PM
I just want to say for starters, that I really admire your work and I think Guardians will be a great comic. Now, I don't consider myself that great of an artist, but I'd like to help out in any way I can. C:

For the Guardians cover, you mentioned you didn't like the eyes. I think the way you did them was excellent, but they do seem off, like the top part of the face is a little disproportionate to the muzzle area. The fur detail, shading, and so on is great though. As for the logo, I can't help you there. XD

In the second panel of Guardian's Prologue Page 1, with the maned wolf (I think that’s what it is), the muzzle seems a little too thick. I think, from what I see, it is because the fur of the cheek appears to be in the wrong place, a little too low in relation to where the ears would be. Again, everything else looks fantastic.

I don’t have anything to say about anything else really, it all looks gorgeous to me. I think you and Shai are doing a terrific job with Guardians and Aetherius, and I look forward to seeing more from the both of you. I hope that helped! 8D

--
"What do I do? What do I do!? I don't wanna get it in the nuts!"- Dean, 5.08
:iconakeli:
=akeli Apr 23, 2009, 11:06:36 PM
Yesss, you are very helpful, thank you! :D

--
-----------------------------------
As a man is, so he sees.
As the eye is formed,
such are its powers
- William Blake
:iconhawkfrostmovngshadow:
=HawkfrostMovngShadow Apr 24, 2009, 2:21:09 AM
I don't know what to say, except that you have a really good comic! I love to read it over and over, and I can't wait for the next page. Unfortunately, (AND fortunately) I have a sister.

Although, in the 'Guardians' cover, the muzzle seems just a tad crooked... I don't really see anything else, really. You are, after all, a great artist!

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:couch:
Icon made by :devteketeke15:
:iconjasperfox:
~jasperfox Apr 24, 2009, 6:04:33 AM
Hrn, Well here's my two cents since I am afraid I might not beable to convey a critique. But here goes;

My personal thought on the cover for The Guardians is overall appealing to the eyes and it grabs the lookers on should this ever be published and seen in book stores. It's soft yet strong portray of the feline protagonist gives one curiosity to look further into it only to discover that indeed reading further it has a nice, soft animated style. Granted a lot of comics very from style to style due to the artists participating in it but I think you and ~thrones make a force to be reckoned with. With your incomparable knowledge of big cat anatomy and his beautiful background work, it takes one to a wonderful universe with ones imagination and each beautiful panel displaying a window to said universe. I say, keep it up you two, it's a wonderful project that I always look forward to seeing more new pages.

--
"Behold! Kashimus Prime!"~ Kash

In times of economic crisis, don't go native. Go foreign! Audi

"Tracing and recoloring ain't art. It's lack of inspiration for DRAWING art."~ Kash
:iconakeli:
=akeli Apr 24, 2009, 9:41:29 AM
Wow, thanks so much for the thoughts :heart:

I was thinking I was going to get a lot more slander :XD: That's why I posted the rules in case I felt like throwing in the towel after people told me to :XD: Though I /am/ encouraging people to tear and cut - it is nice to hear compliments and encouragement too :D

--
-----------------------------------
As a man is, so he sees.
As the eye is formed,
such are its powers
- William Blake
:iconakeli:
=akeli Apr 24, 2009, 9:42:44 AM
I see crookedness too! You are absolutely right! And thanks :D

--
-----------------------------------
As a man is, so he sees.
As the eye is formed,
such are its powers
- William Blake
:iconjasperfox:
~jasperfox Apr 24, 2009, 10:45:58 AM
Just keep up the good work 8D Believe it or not you inspire people with your comic C=

--
"Behold! Kashimus Prime!"~ Kash

In times of economic crisis, don't go native. Go foreign! Audi

"Tracing and recoloring ain't art. It's lack of inspiration for DRAWING art."~ Kash
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